THE BUCK STOPS HERE.

 I had always prided myself on the fact that I was such an independent woman, who did not need any man to be, or do what I wanted to do. In those days before I got married, I was a fire spitting feminist and even explored the subject of feminism in the writings of some great female novelists, as my project in the University. I was also active in the youth fellowship group of my church back then, and any 'brother' who crossed my path, knew that I was not a sister to be toyed with, as I made sure that I let them know that I did not suffer fools gladly, lol. Then I met my husband and he proposed and I accepted. After a while of courting, my fiance then, now husband, called me one day, and asked me, 'do you know what it means to submit in marriage? What do you think submission means? I did not answer the question directly, as I began to tell him all the things submission was not. I told him that submission did not mean 'subjection or slavery' and all the definitions I could think of/ remember. He did not seem to be convinced that I knew what submission meant, despite my attempt to convince him that I did. He felt that I strongly believed in my independence as a lot of brothers had expressed doubt about my ability to be submissive as a wife because of my radical, no-nonsense- stance. A few outrightly asked him  how he got me to accept his marriage proposal as I acted so tough, lol. However, instead of this being a deterrent, it spurred him on a mission of loving this tough, independent sister, into submission and after 10years, I must admit, I have been loved to total submission, lol.  This made me decide to look closely into the subject of submission in marriage. I began to read books on marriage, and looked into my bible to understand what it truly means to be submissive in marriage.  The more I studied the word, the more it made demands on me to re-examine my views in the light of Scriptures and it clicked eventually that independence, as we know it, and marriage, do not go together  as marriage is an interdependent relationship.  Kathy Escobar explains this concept more: http://kathyescobar.com/2010/08/04/codependence-independence-interdependence/ . I discovered that when I obey God and submit to my husband, he submits to me as well and this mutual submission liberates us both. Ephesians 5:21 says,

  "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Mutual submission is God's blue print for a happy home. In over 10 years of marriage, I have come to realize that when one partner insists on having their way all the time, the marriage relationship begins to fall apart. Throughout Scripture, we see the concept of submission.
 In 1 Corinthians 16:16, we're told to "submit to everyone who joins in the work" of serving others. Hebrews 13:17 says, "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority." First Peter 2:13 says, "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among man." First Peter 5:5 says, "Be submissive to those who are older." God created Eve as a help meet for Adam, and we find  that the Old Testament uses the word 'helper'  to describe someone of strength, which tells me that Eve sure had a lot going for her. She completed/complemented Adam. They could both benefit from what each had to offer by mutually submitting to each other. Instances of mutual submission can be seen in the home when a wife submits to her husband by respecting and obeying him (Ephesians 5:21-6:4), the husband submits to his wife by sacrificially loving her, and the children submit to their parents by obeying and honoring them, and the parents submit to their children by spiritually nurturing them. Slaves and Masters as well, are to submit to one another, because we all serve God.

When there is mutual submission in the home, order and stability results and each person is not just doing his own thing. Lack of order in the home is a sure recipe for disaster. Too often,  though, some men, in a futile attempt to mask their insecurities, insist on having their own way and that is when submission becomes a weapon of slavery.  God did not say,  "Make your wives submit. Assert your authority as head of the house. Show who's boss." Instead, Ephesians 5:15 tells men to, "Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." To do that,  one must  must die to self and in dying to self, you can enjoy the special person your wife/husband is to you, and beyond that, your relationship with her/him, as well as with God is honored. (1 Peter 3:7).
As a wife, I have learned that my husband is the head of our home, not because he is a superior being, but because God has given him this responsibility and I do my bit to help and encourage him to become God's man. I will help him to make decisions, but will not make them for him.
This leads me to the topic of discourse today, which was generated by a Facebook post put up by  Anthony's Words of Wisdom For Women

QUESTION:

In my last question about marriage and who makes the FINAL decision, I am getting answers like Both, Compromise, Discuss it, What's best for the family and things like these. They sound good but if a husband and a wife sit down, talk about it, discuss it, weighs the pros and cons and STILL CAN'T COME UP WITH A COMPROMISE but a decision HAS TO BE MADE, who makes that final decision?

Put yourself in this situation before you answer. People are saying BOTH have to agree. NO THEY DON'T. We are talking about real life and not all the times will you agree. Remember, one person MAY NOT LIKE the final decision but it HAS TO BE MADE. Again, who makes that decision?

I have posted the question exactly as I saw it on Facebook and would welcome your thoughts on this. Have a blessed week ahead people.